John Roberts - Glass Eights

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With every bump in the road, you find yourself more unsure of just where you are headed. This new world was something different. Something off. Not having anywhere to live is the least of your concerns at the moment. The differences between past lives seems meaningless now. The idea of being a drifter doesn't scare you. What does scare you is what you may come across.

Another, particularly large bump in the road causes you to hit your hit on the passenger-side window. The mechanical driver gives you what you interpret a sheepish look as it presses on the gas to go faster. The city approaches ever the more steadily. Night falls upon the wasteland.

You pass a checkpoint just outside the city. Having been cooped up in this oddly shaped vehicle, you relish the thought of stretching your legs. You wonder what you could spend the night doing. And then you hear it. The rhythmic thuds of distant music.

Getting out of the vehicle and thanking the machine for the lift, you make your way on foot to the source of the music. Cracked pavement and dark alleys become the normal sight on your trek. The source becomes more present, the music more defined. You realize it's club of sorts.

Down the stairs and past a set of double doors, you've found your way towards the club. Flashing lights and loud, thumping bass provide comfort you never considered a room full of people would give you. Then it hits you. There seem to be no people. Only machines. The driver wasn't a coincidence. The clash of metal on metal surrounds you. Bodies shimmer and gyrate under the glow of halogen flickers. Rattles form from the unoiled hinges of the machines.

Pain. The lights fade from your vision.

Calories: 385.5
Distance: 3.33mi

Actress - Hazyville

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With a jolt, you are woken. Your eyes burn. You are lying prone in this wasteland. Your brain goes into overdrive, doing a diagnostic of the situation. It takes a moment for your eyes to register their surroundings. Forms eventually take shape into recognizable landmarks on the terrain.

You life yourself off the dry, cracked ground and dust yourself off. Your tattered clothes and lack shoes are the first thing you notice about yourself. Behind you is the pit. You have no recollection of making your way out of it, but you are glad you are no longer left to rot down there.

Looking ahead you see a door to a small, rusted over shack. With a knock at the door, you attempt to gain the attention of anyone who might be present. After a few attempts, you give up and walk back a bit to gain a better of view of where it is you currently are. Small, sheet metal buildings greet your vision. You realize you are in a shantytown of sorts. A dilapidated sign. 'Hazyville'.

Sounds of static surround you. These sounds are unfamiliar. They are loud. Buzzing. High frequency snarls and snaps invade your brain and form new connections within. It is then you notice the monolithic radio towers in the distance. They are unlike anything you have ever seen. They stretch miles upward, with no sign of a top. Could this be what you are hearing? You don't recall being able to hear radio waves, but you wouldn't be surprised.

The shantytown now looks different as well. It looks oddly futuristic, even for what appeared to be such a desolate state of society.

You do a 180 and face opposite the towers. The sight of a large, metallic city comes into view. Lights flash and swing across the sky above the city. Suddenly, with boom, an engine can be heard. A spiked vehicle approaches with great intensity and makes a stop in front of you. The door opens and you get your first sign of possible life. Or do you? Behind the wheel of the vehicle is a machine. It points to you and then points to the seat behind it and then points to the city. It seems to be asking if you want a lift. You think briefly, and accept the machine's offer.

Miles go by. You are on your way towards civilization as you hear the booming thuds draw ever closer.

Calories: 331.4
Distance: 2.56mi

Andy Stott - Merciless

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How far down can you fall before you hit rock bottom? How much can your life be mutilated before you don't like what you are looking at? How does one fix something that was never not broken?

Pushed as far downward as you feel you could go, you stand before yourself in this pit. This consuming pit. Emotions stretched thin. Desires ceased meaning. Hopes lost. Thrown into a seemingly endless downward spiral, life becomes nothing more than a series of pointless events. So is the journey. Coping mechanisms fail to maintain themselves over this arduous time one has. And life crumbles. You attempt to keep yourself busy. Occupied. Motivated. This only lasts as long as you allow it to. Soon motivations crumble too, and everything falls apart. You are at the bottom of the pit. A lifeless husk.


Ỉ̏ͬͣͯ͌͏̩̞̙Ś̝̤̃͋̎ ̱̩̝̯̱̥̦̇I̢͓̰̟̖ͅT̻͔͎͎̪̯ ͈ͦT̳̙̥̓̇ͣͦͩͯ̾ͅH̰̼̥̰̠̘̥̏̈͆ͦͭ̓E̹͔͋͌̅ͦ͟ ̱̌͂ͨ̏ËN̝̭̺͙̯͉̅̔̍̒̇̓D̫͑͑̉̀ ̙ͤT̥͈̜̝̝̩̊̍̽̉́H̛͍͈̲͋ͥ̈ͥ̓́O̗̼̬͊̀U̼̤̳̪͗̌̍̀̚͜G̛ͦ̒ͯ̐͋H̛̲͍̹͔̟͉́?̛̈


No. There is a pulse. A slow, churning pulse. A pace is kept up. Slowly building upon each variation of itself, it continues. It doesn't lift you out of the rubble you currently reside in, though. Only keeps you going. Only allows you to wallow in this dread you have exhumed over the years of loathsomeness. You are not dead, though. The pulse remains.

Crash. Light breaks through. You are illuminated. This light shows you what you are. What you have become. It shows you just how long you have been in this pit of desolateness. You are pale. Weak. Nothing.

Then the warmth comes through. It begs you to return. To try again. To make everything right again. Its outstretched hand is shown to you, hoping that you take it in yours. It knows another opportunity is not likely, so it offers you mercy.

Your past misgivings have made you cynical. You think nothing can fix you. You think life is merciless. Why should you take this offer? What good could come from taking it? What do you have to prove to it? You ask yourself these questions before your mind goes blank. You reach forward and put your hand into the warmth and pull yourself out of the wreckage.

A new beginning.

Calories: 380.8
Distance: 3.00mi

jj - jj n° 2

The word that first comes to my mind with jj n° 2 is summer. Yes, this album sounds like it comes right off the cruise ship, steel drums and all. Sounds that previously stopped me from working out before (I got a minute into it back in March before I switched it for another album) are now a welcomed change of pace. I really enjoyed the airy and bright feel this album displays. Occasionally the album becomes a lot more beat heavy than one would expect, like the track "Ecstasy"which samples Lil Wayne.

Despite how short the album is, clocking in at just over 26 minutes, it still motivated me to put a good effort in. And on a cool summer night like tonight, that's all I really ask for.

Calories: 232.7
Distance: 1.81mi

Dan Deacon - Spiderman Of The Rings

Spiderman Of The Rings sounds like a swirling, pulsating NES cartridge on fire, and I mean that in the best way possible. It's absolutely fun and exhilarating minimal electronic music that is really sort of hard to describe. At points it is very beat heavy while other times it is composed of merely a xylophone warped and modulated to the extreme, layering over itself and consttantly glitching out. Some songs contain chant-worthy hooks that just make you want to yell along, which is always a quality I enjoy. This is especially true on the third track, which is almost twelve minutes long and is fun the whole way through.

In a workout sense, this album is just always on. The only downtime you're going to get on it is the fourth track "Big Milk" which is the xylophone track. Otherwise be prepared to get up and move, because it doesn't really stop until its over. I recommend this album for your gym near you.

Calories: 394.0
Distance: 3.03mi

Mouse On Mars - Idiology

My main problem with Idiology was something I never really anticipated could occur with electronic I chose for working out. The album was just too beautiful to be a good workout album. There are about five songs I can recommend for the workout space, but the other five end up being beautiful post-rock and ambient infused electronic ballads that convey a lot of emotion. I would almost compare the five songs to something you would hear off of M83's Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts, but even that's a bit of a stretch.

I should also mention that the song "Catching Butterflies With Hands" was inexplicably absent from my track set. Having listened to the track afterwards, it would definitely fall under the five ballads.

In conclusion, check out the album, but don't try to get physical to it. It's not meant for it in any way. Do check out Mouse On Mars' new album Parastrophics though, as I personally believe that album is a perfect workout candidate and is what actually got me to listen to this album in the first place.

Calories: 336.6
Distance: 2.79mi

Boards Of Canada - In A Beautiful Place Out In The Country

In A Beautiful Place Out In The Country pretty much does what I asked for. Having a busy schedule for today, I still needed to workout. I found this short, relaxing EP to be answer to my problem. Boards Of Canada provide synth-heavy ambient electronic music that is very soothing. This is opposite to what their next full-length album, Geogaddi, does in that Geogaddi is a very dark and claustrophobic record. Do not expect that from this. The first three tracks contain heavy thumping bass and downtempo stylings that are perfect to chill out to. The last track removes the bass from the equation, instead opting for a purely synth venture. While I had hoped for another track like the first three, the last track was still a very pleasant way to end the EP.

If you just want to take a nice short walk, like I did today, this is your EP.

Calories: 183.7
Distance: 1.50

Daedelus - Invention

Having heard some of Daedelus's later work, I was surprised that Invention was of a different breed musicly. Where as his proceeding albums would involve heavy hip-hop beats infused with lively samples, this album relies on soothing orchestral samples that sound like something from a 50's era movie soundtrack. Beats are actually few and far between in the first half, almost entirely composing on the velvety piano and wind instrumentals. The second half is where the album really comes into full swing, becoming a lot more beat-centric and the electronics begin to take over in a sense. The second to last track brings the album to its climax before the album ends on a slightly quieter note. It's a beautiful album that I would definitely recommend.

Calories: 297.9
Distance: 2.31mi

Isolée - We Are Monster

Clocking in at just under an hour and just ten tracks, We Are Monster sounds like it would be a disastrous album to workout to. This is not the case at all, in fact with its phat beats and funky rhythms I felt as though this album wasn't as long. The spliced vocals of many of the songs add a certain wordless class that you just don't find on many albums.  It's hard to really quantify why else I think this album was perfect, it just ended up pushing me to my limit.

Calories: 517.7
Distance: 4.00mi

Bear In Heaven - Beast Rest Forth Mouth

Bear Rest Forth Mouth is an engulfing experimental rock record that really shocked me. I was expecting it to be just another experimental rock album, but was surprised with its use of electronic flourishes and its amount of indie rock choruses. I can't easily pin down any other describable styles; you'll just have to trust me when I say its an empowering record. I felt compelled to give this workout session my all, and this record delivered perfectly.

Calories: 360.0
Distance: 2.81mi

Gang Gang Dance - God's Money

The only way I can really describe Gang Gang Dance to new possible listeners is that they sound like an Indian experimental rock band. With its heavy elctroclash influence, God's Money comes off as very psychedelic but also quite heavy in beats. The end result is a accessible album that can be enjoyed by fans of electronic music and experimental rock alike. As far as working out, it exceeds far past my expectations of the band. Even when the beat is almost completely lost and it  starts spiraling out of control, it still maintains a interesting ability to keep up one's motivation.

Calories: 323.4
Distance: 2.51mi

Max Tundra - Parallax Error Beheads You

If I were to have describe Max Tundra's music in one word, it would definitely be 'quirky'. The eccentricities of Max Tundra come from break-neck tempos, falsetto vocals, chiptune-esque styling, and the ability to have very hyper electronic music that doesn't come off as feeling corny in the slightest. The music often gives me an almost nostalgic feeling, which may be because it sounds like a video game that may or may not be glitching out furiously. Even in it's sprawling eleven minute finale, Parallax Error Beheads You never drags because new sounds are constantly being introduced, fleshed out, and iterated upon in inventive ways. Lightning has struck twice this week, and perfection is the result.

Calories: 361.2
Distance: 2.80mi

Matthew Dear - Leave Luck To Heaven

As far as techno musicians go, Matthew Dear is definitely a personal favorite. The overall styling has a bit of minimalistic flare with a dash of microhouse. While it comes in a bit on the long side, Leave Luck To Heaven's thumping bass lines mixed with Dear's ghostly vocals really make for an aurally exciting experience while simultaneously pushing the album forward at a brisk a speed. These all add up to a very admirable workout environment that is both complex and inviting.

Calories: 423.3
Distance: 3.31mi

Ratatat - Ratatat

Mixes of electronic and rock rarely end up being as fun as this album was. The mix of electronically produced bass and guitars gives the band a lot of flexibility. The way Ratatat present their guitars just makes them sound so different then many other bands. Even though the album lacks vocals and really never picks up any hooks to speak of it still has many pop sensibilities that will make the songs get stuck in your head in no time. It provides a really awesome workout experience and is just a really enjoyable album all around.

Calories: 353.8
Distance: 2.87mi

Junior Boys - So This Is Goodbye

So This Is Goodbye continues what Junior Boys had began on Last Exit, which is to say beautifully composed minimalist electropop. While I came away from this album slightly mixed fitness-wise, I definitely loved the sound this album presented me. Most of the songs never pass 110bpm, but that isn't a bad thing in the context of the album. The slowness of the album almost made it a point for me to never want to break pace, because the album itself almost never did.

If you know what you're getting yourself into with this album, expect to come out loving it.

Calories: 363.9
Distance: 3.00mi

Caribou - Andorra

I have always enjoyed Snaith's work, and this album is no exception. Andorra provides a mix of psychedelic folk with electronic beat structures, and for the most part it works well in a fitness sense and a musical sense. Overall I was pleasantly surprised with just how well this album made me feel while working out.

Calories: 284.2
Distance: 2.58mi

Neon Indian - Psychic Chasms

I wasn't feeling too great today. I'm pretty sure yesterday took a toll on me. Despite that fact, I decided I still needed to workout. I chose something that I knew would be easy and good. This album provides some great chillwave tunes that don't require you to really go all out, but you can if you want to. It's the best of both worlds.

Calories: 202.3
Distance: 1.82mi

The Go! Team - Thunder, Lightning, Strike

This album is absolutely packed to the brim with fun. From the wide array of instrumentation, to the upbeat nature, to the scratching that appears frequently, to the plethora of easily recognizable but not overtly obvious samples. This album had me bobbing my head to the beat throughout its entirety. This is a perfect workout album.

On the compressed list, I have added a fourth style to the rating scheme. Blue indicates a perfect workout album. I also may add a link to just perfect workout albums in the future. Let me know what you think.

Calories: 273.0
Distance: 2.25mi